At First CRC Denver, we’ve seen firsthand how intergenerational relationships can transform a church community.
A few years ago, we (Bret Lamsma), decided to pair all of our high school juniors and seniors with a mentor from our church community. We had already been using mentoring as a discipleship tool for our emerging adults as part of our Enfold ministry (you can learn more about that ministry here). Our hope for these mentor pairs was that they would build intergenerational relationships where the older members of our church could share their faith stories with our younger members while our younger members shared their stories with our older members. Each person’s stories include events, relationships, questions, gained knowledge, and discussion. Through this reciprocity of relationship and sharing we hoped that everyone involved would grow in their faith. And while some mentor pairs work better than others, there’s no doubt that everyone involved has grown in some way in their relationship with God and with each other.
There are a few questions that people usually ask when we talk about our mentorship programs. They usually revolve around how we pair mentors and mentees and what our mentor pairs do together. Our high school students choose their mentors from our congregation. I ask them for a list of three people (there are often duplicate names or people that I know can’t be a mentor for other reasons) that they would like to be their mentor and I approach those people about being a mentor. I rarely get past the first name. Some of the mentors our students pick make sense. They’re youth leaders, former Sunday School teachers, or church staff. Others are more of a surprise. One student picked someone I wasn’t expecting. When I followed up on the name I learned that during a church dinner this adult had sat down by the student and asked him a bunch of questions. The adult thought that the conversation went terribly – awkward one word answers was about the extent of the conversation. But the student thought it was the best thing ever! An adult cared enough to sit at an empty table with him in a crowded room and ask about his life. He remembered that conversation and when it came time to pick a mentor he went straight back to that adult.
Our emerging adults that we pair with mentors are often new to our congregation and aren’t as familiar with our members as our high school students are. We pair them with a mentor based on vocation or other shared interests. This can be more of a prayerful guessing game, but it almost always works out well also. The conversations that our emerging adults who are a part of Enfold have with their mentors are a part of the larger discipleship materials that we write and use for this program. They begin as conversations that our Enfold group has together with our lead pastor and continue as discussion guides provided to Enfold participants and members. The conversations also often center around life events and vocation questions. For a first year teacher or nurse (or any vocation) to have a trusted veteran of their industry to ask questions of is often invaluable.
Our high school students have used a variety of materials over the years. Currently they are reading “Deep Down Faith” by Cornelius Plantinga Jr with their mentors. These conversations can lead to deeper questions about faith and doubt which are great conversations to have. Many of our high school students have made profession of faith due to the conversations that they had with their mentors.
One of the most valuable partners in this work has been Generation Spark. Generation Spark equips churches to build authentic, intergenerational mentoring relationships that spark intimacy with Jesus, meaningful connection, and a shared sense of mission. Through mentor-mentee training webinars, research-based resources, curriculum, and coaching, Generation Spark has helped us strengthen and sustain our mentoring culture.
Our congregation (students, emerging adults, and older adults alike) has benefited greatly from the mentoring relationships that have taken shape over the years. Connections with God and others have flourished through our mentor pairs. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our mentors and mentees and for our church community as a whole.
If your congregation is wondering how to build deeper intergenerational connections, create meaningful discipleship relationships, or begin a mentoring ministry of your own, Generation Spark is a great place to start. Generation Spark is currently partnering with congregations that want to explore mentoring and intergenerational discipleship in their own communities. Whether you are just beginning to dream about mentoring or looking to strengthen an existing ministry, Generation Spark offers training, coaching, and practical tools to help your church take the next faithful step.
To learn more about partnering with Generation Spark or bringing mentoring into your congregation, connect with the team and start the conversation. Your church may already have everything needed to spark meaningful relationships across generations.
Connect with a Generation Spark Team member
Bret Lamsma serves as the Director of Faith Formation at First CRC and is a Generation Spark Coach
